Post Grad Depression

By

Nobody really talks about it, how boring life becomes without academic stress, 
You have some added free time if you already have a job and if you don't got one, 
You have all the free time in the world. 
You get to question your purpose and reality forces to learn more about yourself

It's December, almost two months since I officially graduated college, 
I still watch post-grad depression videos on YouTube to try and get tips to deal with mine, 
I mean I changed a job  and the pay is a bit better compared to where I was working before but
I am still confused, overwhelmed, and questioning everything, I am not even happy about graduating 
like I was expecting to be. 

I just don't know anymore, It's like I know what I want but I also feel too scared to do anything, 
In the movie "Ginny and Georgia", Brianne Howey said,
 " Once you are happy, you have so much more to lose." 
I feel like I relate to that more than anyone else in the world because the moment I am excited
I equally have something to worry about, cry about, or the past somehow catches up with me. 

I feel like I have been running and got to the finish line but it's just not enough.
I took a long way to victory and I don't feel victorious
I just feel numb, and nothing exciting anymore 
I wanna sit back and relax but all I see is that I only have now to make the most out of 
this life no matter what.   

I am kinda stuck between enjoying life and going to every place I never went to 
because I was broke before getting a job and while in college
and saving the money that I am earning because I have big plans for the future, 
Damn, I want try and  live below my income to save much but I also want some changes in lifestyle, you know?  

And for this one time, I really wanna overcome all my fears and start ticking of my bucket list 
But again, I still have to keep things under control. 
And if you ever ask me how I am doing after school, I will tell you that I am living everyday as it comes with no expectations or explanations. 

I am here asking for a friend, how did you approach the transition after graduation? Any tips to stay productive and happy? Any tips to navigate through discovering self outside of school and anything that comes with it? Or may be any tips to stay fullfilled and curious about life?

 








Glad to see you here, My name is Colette MUKAGATERA welcome to my personal blog. I'm an aspiring writer since 2016. I will be sharing experiences, love stories, poetry, and anything else that can be expressed in written form.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If I don't make it, Call my sister

By
 If  I don't make it home,  Or from my dance class,  Or from my early morning jogs,  Or to work someday, Wait for me a little longer,  I might be sitting by the road,  Admiring cars or just overthinking,  I might be still in my bed,  Debating if that day is worth the corporate stress,  I might be deciding if I got to keep going or just give up,  If I don't make it,  Before you call anyone, talk to God, Ask for my last blessings and a restful death.  When you get my house, grab my journal on the bedsitter  Write down that date and say that I didn't make it.  Search for all my journals and burn them, Because the dreaming and planning will be over. Don't call my guy best friend, because honestly that's heartbreak to never recover from. Don't call my mom directly,  Because it will be sorrows to loose her youngest child,  No matter how much I can age,  I am still my mom's youngest child, her little love...
Read more

People like us

By
Image
  This story was inspired by my dearest friend Alizee.  She is a girl of morals and I love that she is full of life regardless of the hell she has been through. Being a bitch and a lover, a sinner and a saint, and most of all, she lived to live not to survive.   Seeing the way she lived I questioned my existence and wondered if she lived like that because her name meant trade wind and she only acted like wind. She was always convinced that she was not like others, not in an extraordinary manner but in a way, she was a person to fight and work twice as hard compared to other people. She believed everything has to be earned, even love. “ People like us”, She said  People like us are never allowed to be wrong and to be anything less than perfect. We are raised that way,  Even as a child, she was not allowed to ask silly questions if it was not for excellent answers or experiences. Growing up, she never saw her mother happy. She believed that at some point, m...
Read more

Another Valentine's Day

By
Image
 And it is another Valentine's day,  Where we are just grateful to be in good health,  And no prospects for intimate relationships.  Alone at night cuddling pillows or at the clubs getting tipsy And yet, we have a phone full of names and numbers,  A gallery full of memories of people we no longer talk to  But forever in love with them.  Where most people have touched our bodies and faces,  But never met our souls and hearts,  And we drew distance to keep it classy,  Since showing emotion reflects weakness.  Another Valentine's day,  Where we are thinking about our next big projects,  Instead of  planning gifts to give to people we care for, Where some of us will only call family to check on how they  are doing and simply wish them  a nice day.  Where we really don't mind an invitation to dinner,  Or alone night in for a deep sleep after a long week, Where we are just on a normal Friday, Thankful th...
Read more